You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
