Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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