You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
