dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hippo gnu deer
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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