he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
