I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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