It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
