I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
