what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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