I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
