Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
