I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude i'm inner monologue high
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
