I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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