I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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