Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
