I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
