why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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