Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
