it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
