You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
