he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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