How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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