You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
