dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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