if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I supernannyed him into submission
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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