...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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