Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I smell like Dick and happiness
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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