but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
