forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
