And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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