Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
