just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
