i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize