The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
