So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
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Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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