My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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