I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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