they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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