That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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