Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
