As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
