guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
