No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
