After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
