there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize