Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
