Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
