remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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