whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
