Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
