why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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