yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
