Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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