you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
