nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
