so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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