Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
