Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
