Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize