Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
jump out the window naked night went bad
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
