you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
