I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
