You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
