If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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