is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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