Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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