the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
