You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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